


Don't Shake His Hand

by runawaycartoonist



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: AU, Implied Relationship, Kinda, M/M, Post-Weirdmageddon, based on a tumblr thing, this took me forever to do and i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runawaycartoonist/pseuds/runawaycartoonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper finds the statue of Bill Cipher in the woods. He doesn't look nearly as scary as he did, last year. He reminds himself not to shake his hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Shake His Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt by oncies-billdip-kingdom: http://runaway-cartoonist.tumblr.com/post/140181666307/oncies-billdip-kingdom-imagine-dipper-visiting

Dipper and Mabel’s first year of highschool came and went. It was shockingly anticlimactic, with no singing whatsoever (to Mabel’s utter disappointment), and very predictable. School, clubs, sports, homework. The only difference was that they now had lockers and acne. 

Mabel, being the social butterfly she is, made a group of fast friends and soared through art, home ec, and PE classes with ease. Dipper made one or two close friends, did well in science and math, and continued his research into the paranormal and occult and solved mysteries with his sister, which earned him the nickname “Diptective”. The nickname was mostly perpetuated by Mabel.

Summer arrived again. They boarded the bus back to Gravity Falls to stay with Soos and Melody at the Mystery Shack. Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford returned for the summer, and they smelled like salty sea air and had a thousand stories to tell about life on the waters of the Atlantic.

The first week was far too busy. Dipper and Mabel had a thousand places to be, and spent all their time at the Shack with Soos and their grunkles, hanging out with Grenda and Candy, or galavanting around town with Wendy and her gang.

After the initial business of being back in Gravity Falls, Dipper took some time to himself. Being around people always drained him, anyway. He packed up his journal, a pen, a camera, some water, and his lunch in a backpack and began the hike into the woods.

He snapped photos of everything unusual that he came across. He was never artistically inclined, so he decided that putting photos in his journal would serve him better than trying to draw what he saw.

He was about half a mile away from the Mystery Shack when he saw it.

The stone statue of a triangle with one eye, a top hat, and his hand sticking out.

_ Bill Cipher. _

At first, a chill went up Dipper’s spine. A flashback memory of eyeball bats, broken buildings, a throne made of the townsfolk clouded over his mind’s eye. Screaming and running until their legs burned, the monstrous Bill Cipher clammering behind them, grabbing for them with his golden claws. 

He shook his head, and kneeled next to the statue.

It was small, only about a foot high. It felt strange to see Bill like this. No laughter, no screaming heads, no insane transformations. It was mossy and worn, but the west coast rain hadn’t done much damage. He wondered whether it could.

He stared at the tiny hand held out to shake. Dipper firmly told himself, “ _ Don’t shake his hand. _ ” It’s better not to tempt fate.

He sat by the statue and took a photo of it. He let the camera fall to his lap.

“Hey, Bill. Long time no see, huh?”

What was he doing? It was a statue, it couldn’t talk back.

Dipper sighed and scratched his head underneath his hat. Wendy’s old hat was still a little big for him, but it was his favourite possession.

“You made a huge mess of everything, huh?” he said. “Like, big time. You almost caused the apocalypse. Why?”

The wind blew and rustled the grass around him.

“Ford told me that you destroyed your dimension. Was it really that bad? What made you go crazy, Bill?” Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m an idiot. Is it weird that I feel  _ sorry  _ for you?” He sighed and stood. “Bye, Bill. See you ‘round.”

He walked off into the woods.

 

Dipper found himself drawn to the statue. It was less of a compulsion, and more of a curiosity. He had no idea if Ford knew that the statue was out there. His first impulse was to tell him that it was out there, but something stopped him. For some reason, it just… didn’t feel like a good idea.

He went to visit the statue again. It was just the same, but maybe there were a few more dandelions blooming around it than before.

“Hey.”

He was talking to a statue. Maybe he really  _ does  _ have a screw loose.

“I don’t know if you can hear me or whatever,” he said, “but I haven’t had anyone to talk to about all this…  _ weird  _ stuff that comes along, you know? Mabel knows it all, and I can’t tell my friends in California because they’d think I’m crazy. I just… write it down. I also post it online, and some people say they believe me, but I’m not sure if they’re having me on or are crazy or what.”

The statue stared back at him.

“I’ve been keeping a journal like Great Uncle Ford.” He held up his book to reiterate. “I made an entry about you. I can’t draw to save my life, but I took a photo of you.”

He turned his journal around to face Bill’s stone eye. “See? I captured your good side.”

Bill didn’t move.

Dipper continued to talk to him. He sat down and told him stories about him and Mabel, relayed some of their Grunkle’s adventures, and some of his theories about the conspiracies happening right under their noses.

It was easy to talk to Bill. Surprisingly easy, in fact. He could almost imagine him there, glowing and yellow, with his high manic laugh.

Before he knew it, the sun was setting.

“It was nice talking to you, Bill,” he said as he stood.

He looked down at the small hand extended out to him. He felt the urge to grasp it.

_ Don’t shake his hand, _ he told himself, and he went back to the Mystery Shack for supper.

 

He stopped by the Bill statue at least once a week until the end of summer. He sat by the statue, and told him stories, and every time he reminded himself not to shake the outstretched hand.

It was stupid, and maybe a little paranoid, but no sense in tempting fate, right?

Before he knew it, summer was almost over. They were leaving Gravity Falls tomorrow.

“It’s been a great summer,” said Dipper, sitting cross legged in front of the statue. “We found a sasquatch, some leprechauns, and even the other two clones I made! They covered themselves in some kind of plastic stuff so they don’t melt, and they’ve almost grown to be their own people. Weird, huh?” He laughed and closed his notebook. “It’s been a little easier than last summer, but whatever. No weirdmageddon to stop, y’know.” He gave a little sigh. “It’s been nice talking to you, even if you don’t talk back. You just look like you’re listening.”

He faintly heard Mabel calling his name in the distance.

“I have to go,” he said, standing.

The little hand reached out to him.

_ Don’t shake his hand, _ he told himself.

He almost reached for it.

Mabel called out to him, again. “ _ Dipper! C’mon, you’ll miss the fireworks! _ ”

“See you ‘round, I guess.”

He turned and walked away from that statue. He didn’t return for another five years.

 

It wasn’t that the twins didn’t  _ want  _ to come back to Gravity Falls, it’s just that they didn’t have time. As they grew up, Mabel’s desire to run around in the woods faded and was replaced by art getaways with friends, and hanging out at the mall and going on dates. Dipper still liked being outside, but he also liked playing video games with his friends and watching Netflix.

Their grunkles did visit them, and they squeezed in a few other visits with Wendy, Candy, and Grenda, but it wasn’t quite the same.

They were eighteen. They were off to college in September. Childhood was behind them.

Dipper flopped back onto his bed. “I’m  _ so  _ glad high school is over.”

“I’m gonna miss it,” said Mabel, sitting next to him.

“Easy for  _ you  _ to say. You never got picked on.”

“Pssh, you  _ hardly  _ got picked on.”

“I don’t know if you remember when I got thrown into the showers  _ with my clothes on _ . My phone was  _ wrecked _ .”

“Oh, boo-hoo. You were  _ fine! _ ” She playfully shoved his shoulder. 

“I’m emotionally scarred, Mabel. It’ll never go away.”

“Whatever!” She grinned slyly. “Dip-dop, if you could spend our last summer before college doing  _ anything, _ what would it be?”

He gave a little shrug. “Um, I dunno. New York?”

“No, silly!” She waved two bus tickets in his face.

“What?” He snatched them.

_ Gravity Falls, _ said the ticket.

“No way!” he said. He grinned widely. “When did you get these?”

“Like, two weeks ago! I wanted to surprise you.” She gave him a nudge and a huge grin. Her smile seemed so much bigger now that her braces were off. “We leave tomorrow, bro-bro!”

He whooped and jumped to his feet, pulling a suitcase out from under his bed. “Are Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford gonna be there?”

“Duh!” She fiddled with her barrette in the mirror. “Of course they are! Oh, and have you heard the big news about Soos and Melody?”

“What?”

“They’re getting married!”

“ _ What? _ When?”

“Late July! We’ll be there, bro! And it’ll be  _ awesome! _ ” She tackled him in a bear hug.

Dipper grinned. He couldn’t wait.

 

They received the warmest welcome, yet. A party, with cake and balloons and (horrible) karaoke. Wendy had gotten a tattoo of an axe on her shoulder, Candy had cut her hair short, and Grenda had  _ amazing  _ eyeliner, according to Mabel (Dipper wasn’t really an expert in these things). Ford had acquired a scar on his cheek, and Stan now used a cane.

Late in the evening, as the party was winding down, Dipper slipped away, unnoticed. Flashlight in hand, he walked through the woods.

It was cool and clear, that evening. The stars were barely visible against the tops of the trees. He could still hear laughter and music, but it was distant and muffled by the forest. Crickets chirped, and he could hear an owl. He also heard scuffles, but he knew that it was just the gnomes.

Bill still sat in the moss and grass, just the same as he was five years ago.

“Hi, Bill.” Dipper sat across from him, cross legged. “I know what you’re thinking.” He raised his voice in imitation of Bill. “ _ Pinetree! Where have you been? I’ve been bored stiff out here all by myself without you to talk my ear off about your worthless human problems! _ ” He chuckled. “Pretty good, right? I learned how to do your voice so I could sneak into Mabel’s room and scare her.” He rubbed the scar on his hand where she’d stabbed him with a pen. “It wasn’t a good idea.”

The fireflies danced overhead. They sat on the leaves of the trees and blinked, slowly and softly, like lighthouses on a dark sea.

“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” said Dipper. “I never understood you, you know. I managed to figure out so much about Gravity Falls over the summers, but I never figured you out.” He propped his chin up in his hand. “I guess that you didn’t understand us, either. Maybe you never tried. Maybe sitting here for a while has given you time to think.”

Did he believe that Bill was in the statue? He wasn’t sure. He had believed that whatever’s left of Bill could possibly be in Grunkle Stan’s mind, but Ford had done a lot of careful searching and had come up with empty hands.

He’d said that if Bill was still alive, he sure wasn’t in Stan.

That left the statue. The statue that used to be his physical form, before he rejoined the mindscape for one last time.

“I just don’t think that you’re really gone,” said Dipper. “You’re too clever for that. You’d have found some kind of loophole, or some final trick.” He tilted his head. “Or maybe you were too cocky and you didn’t think of it in time. It’s hard to say, honestly.”

The little hand stretched out to him. Long ago, it had looked threatening and promised nothing but humiliation. Now, it looked like a gesture of friendship.

“Have you changed your mind about us? About our universe?” asked Dipper. He gave a smile and looked up at the sky. “It’s hard to feel angry at a place that’s so beautiful, isn’t it? I mean, it’s far from perfect, but life isn’t perfect. Life just…  _ is. _ ”

The little hand was still extended. It looked fragile, but even after all this time, it hadn’t broken off.

“How about this,” said Dipper. “If we ever meet again, some sunny day far in the future, I promise to treat you fairly if you show me the same respect. Deal?”

The little hand beckoned to him.

_ Don’t shake his hand. _

He ignored the thought. It was so tiny and distant, almost like somebody was calling to him from across a foggy lake.

He reached out and took the hand.

The clearing was dead quiet. Even the crickets were silent.

The stone fingers tightened around his. He let out a gasp as the rock trembled and broke apart, shattering to reveal glowing yellow bricks behind it.

_ Bill. _ He was back, top hat, bow tie, cane and all. His eye was closed. He slowly floated up, his hand still latched onto Dipper’s. His tiny fingers dug into his hand.

It was shockingly quiet. There was no maniacal laughter, no snarky comments, nothing except for the sound of the breeze and the distant music from the party.

Bill opened his eye. He had no mouth, but he looked like he was… smiling?

“ _It’s a deal, Pinetree!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Comment if you liked it, and if I messed up (spelling, grammar, etc) please tell me and I'll fix it!


End file.
